bang! crash! the lightning flashed!! -- that's another story, nevermind, anyway!

[qingxinling]

Jiang Wanyin sweeps along the shores of the lake, glowering. This is not his beloved Lotus Pier. These waters are cold, foreign, uninviting. Clearly there's been some trap: he's been distracted by duty in this hunt, and when he followed the slight tug in his chest, he ended up getting pulled into unfamiliar territory.

No matter. He draws himself to full height, letting cool arrogance slip down his shoulders and suffuse him. Sandu is naked in one hand; Zidian crackles in the other. He can handle whatever monsters may arrive.

Comments

[qingxinling]

"Something else, like food?"

[peaklordshen]

"Sure, if you like," says Shen Yuan, and then taps his fan against his cheek, as if something has just occurred to him. "Or—someone here gave me something, a special kind of plant, only available here¹—inhaling its vapor brings peace, and a certain—clarity of thought." He shrugs, a little. "If there is an array here that I haven't noticed,² it could help you figure it out."

So, okay, he's lying to Jiang Cheng a little about what weed does. But how long did he spend watching that show wanting everyone to just let Jiang Cheng chill out?? Enjoy himself a little?? Receive a little positive reinforcement for once in his life?? If getting him stoned and buttering him up about his spiritual investigation skills is what it takes, Shen Yuan will shoulder that burden.

¹ No it isn't, but it's almost definitely not available in Jiang Cheng's world, unless the novel is very different than the show, so same diff.
² There isn't.

[qingxinling]

"Like some kind of special incense?" Jiang Wanyin asks, suspiciously.

[peaklordshen]

"Sort of," says Shen Yuan. "You inhale it more directly than that." He draws Jiang Cheng away from the display on the wall and toward somewhere more private. "I can show you?"

[qingxinling]

"...fine."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan, with all the self-control five years of pretending to be an impassive and dismissive immortal master gave him, does not do a cartoonishly huge fist-pump about this. He leads Jiang Cheng to one of the lounges, and rummages around in his sleeve until he produces the vape pen. "You just hold it to your lips," he says, "and breathe in." He demonstrates, breathing out a slow cloud and smiling at Jiang Cheng through the haze, and then immediately circulates his qi so he doesn't actually get high. Getting Jiang Cheng to relax is one thing; relaxing with him a completely different one. He holds out the vape pen.

[qingxinling]

Jiang Wanyin gives Shen Yuan a suspicious look, but takes the device and fits it to his lips, taking the tiniest inhale in the history of the world, probably. "This is just ma," he says, suspicion escalating as he lifts the device to study it more closely. "What a weird little censer."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan laughs at him. "Take more than that, Sandu Shengshou, or it'll never work."

[qingxinling]

Jiang Wanyin is pretty sure you're not supposed to inhale ma directly, but surely an immortal cultivator would know best. He takes another tiny inhale and then passes the censer back.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan takes another hit and circulates his qi again, but he does let himself sink down, a little, into the chair, in case Jiang Cheng needs the implicit permission to relax. "If there is an array," he says, handing the vape pen back, "it's like nothing I've ever seen." Mostly because Airplane didn't bother to write much array-type cultivation into PIDW, preferring monsters and demons and, of course, sex pollen over talismans and stuff. Doubtless whoever wrote the novel about Jiang Cheng was more serious and creative.

[qingxinling]

Jiang Wanyin doesn't take the censor. He's very suspicious of this use of incense. "So," he grumbles, awaiting whatever clarity of thought is coming from this fucking weird use of ma. "You're telling me the Yiling Laozu, Wei Wuxian ended up in a different fucking world and isn't even making a nuisance of himself?"

[peaklordshen]

"I've literally barely seen him," says Shen Yuan. "As far as I can tell all he does is tinker with talismans, drink, and have sex with his husband."

[qingxinling]

"That's so fucking weird. The Chief Cultivator will never believe it when I tell him Wei Wuxian doesn't have his nose in fucking everyone's business."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan blinks. "Isn't Lan Wangji the Chief Cultivator?"

[qingxinling]

Okay, Jiang Wanyin has to laugh at that. It's a harsh, barking thing, but a laugh nonetheless. Actually, he finds it hard to make it stop? Fucking weird. "Lan Wangji? What the fuck? Of course it's not fucking Lan Wangji."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan watches Jiang Cheng laugh with his chin on the heel of one hand, smiling lightly. Another thing CQL got wrong, clearly. "Oh, I don't know," he says. "Maybe I misunderstood something he said." He's too curious about this adaptation difference to leave it alone, though. "Who...is Chief Cultivator, then?"

[qingxinling]

"Nie Huaisang," Jiang Wanyin says, and only barely refrains from tacking an obviously onto the end there. "Chief Cultivator Lan Wangji... What a fucking nightmare that would be."

[peaklordshen]

Nie Huaisang? Shen Yuan doesn't know how to feel about that. It kind of muddies the waters on his revenge plot? Like, if he also gets political benefit out of it, then was he really motivated by pure love and rage on behalf of his brother??¹ But he has to admit, now that he knows Lan Wangji, he has to agree he would be pretty bad at running the cultivation world. That kind of thing requires nuance, and the ability to talk to people for more than two sentences. "It would be a fucking nightmare," he agrees. "What do you think he'd be worst at?"

¹ Once again this typist does not stand behind Shen Yuan's CQL opinions.

[qingxinling]

"Everything, obviously." It barely even demands any kind of reflection. The answer is crystal clear. Still, something about the attention of this immortal cultivator makes Jiang Wanyin want to put in some effort. "Arbitration. He'd be way too pissy and bitchy to do a good job at that, especially if Wei Wuxian batted his eyes about something one of the parties said."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan nods emphatically. "Oh, he's terrible at arbitration. His friend Claudius had this whole fight with Luo Binghe,¹ it's whatever, it's water under the bridge, but someone else arbitrated, and then after it had already been solved² Lan Wangji bursts in and holds Luo Binghe at sword-point. Like," he adopts his iciest face, his best Lan Wangji impression. "If you don't do what you've already done, I'll—"

¹ He's not avoiding telling Jiang Cheng he has a boyfriend. He's just being a little bit circumspect about it, because Jiang Cheng's experience with Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian has made him... well, a little homophobic? Everyone has flaws, it's fine.
² ?