bang! crash! the lightning flashed!! -- that's another story, nevermind, anyway!

[qingxinling]

Jiang Wanyin sweeps along the shores of the lake, glowering. This is not his beloved Lotus Pier. These waters are cold, foreign, uninviting. Clearly there's been some trap: he's been distracted by duty in this hunt, and when he followed the slight tug in his chest, he ended up getting pulled into unfamiliar territory.

No matter. He draws himself to full height, letting cool arrogance slip down his shoulders and suffuse him. Sandu is naked in one hand; Zidian crackles in the other. He can handle whatever monsters may arrive.

Comments

[qingxinling]

Jiang Wanyin crosses his arms. "Oh yeah?" he asks. "How the fuck would you know, then?"

The thing is... it's not a rude question! He's genuinely curious about how someone utterly unfamiliar with cultivation might judge such things! But the way the question comes out... well. That's another matter altogether.

[wickedwit]

"Well," Claudius says in measured, friendly tones, "keeping in mind that I am a world without cultivation sects, and therefore without spiritual weapons ... you've not put down your spiritual weapon since we started talking. I imagine that takes some skill to wield." It's crackling with purple lightning. It looks extraordinarily magical.

[qingxinling]

Slightly mollified, Jiang Wanyin makes Zidian crackle extra-hard with a burst of spiritual energy. Then he puts it away. "You know something about cultivation," he allows. Especially for a guy who claims to be from a world without it.

[wickedwit]

Claudius gives a smile of look, now we're talking like civilized people who don't walk around with weapons drawn. "I only like to learn about the people I meet," he says modestly. "When I know how much discipline a path like cultivation takes, I can better admire it. I'm sure you have many more admirable qualities for me to learn about, Jiang Wanyin."

[qingxinling]

Well, he's fucking filial, for one, unlike some people he could name. "What the fuck do you mean by that?" he demands.

[wickedwit]

Claudius reflects again on how well-suited Lan Wangji is to the art of composing burn books -- moreso than Claudius himself. Truly, there has never been a man more like a rotten loquat. In looks, fair-faced and appealing; in conversation, coarse and charmless.

A shame, but there's still some entertainment to be had. "The men of Yunmeng are bold, I see. Do you want to hear me say it?" His smile turns flirtatious as he takes Jiang Wanyin's arm. "I mean," he says, "I'm interested in you."

[qingxinling]

"I'm no cut-sleeve," Jiang Wanyin says, immediately. He stumbles over his words a little; his tongue feels weirdly thick in his mouth? Anyway, it doesn't count, with the Chief Cultivator, because the Chief Cultivator always dresses like a woman when they... whatever... and never asks Jiang Wanyin to look at or touch his prick, no matter what Jiang Wanyin... whatever!! He's no cut-sleeve. Obviously.

[wickedwit]

Claudius continues leaning on his arm, and smooths a hand down the sleeve of his robe. “I see thou art well-attired,” he says, rather than ask any clarifying question. He’ll ask Lan Wangji later what cut-sleeve means. “As befits a leader of his sect. A man who dresses with skill, they say¹, can show his skill in other ways.”

¹ Who says that, Claudius? Did you say that?

[qingxinling]

"You really don't like to get to the point, do you," Jiang Wanyin observes. He's decided to hell with politeness. It's not like he's going to stay here; he doesn't need to make any charade of diplomacy.

[wickedwit]

"You really are bold," Claudius says with a grin. Though as far as he's concerned, that's one of the more polite things Jiang Wanyin has said -- it's a true observation that Claudius is willfully twisting for the sake of provocation. "But if it's what thou wouldst prefer, I can tell thee a well-dressed man is a pleasure to watch undress. Or is that not pointed enough for thee? Wouldst thou have me whisper in thy ear all the things I'd do to thee after dispensing with thy fine raiment?"

[qingxinling]

"I don't know why the fuck you're talking like that," Jiang Wanyin says, feeling very much like he's the butt of some joke somewhere. Maybe Wei Wuxian has been doing nefarious things around here? Why else would a short guy with offensively short hair be saying things Nie Huaisang might when -- never mind!! "I told you I'm not a fucking cut-sleeve." He takes a step closer, trying to look menacing; the effect may seem more like a disgruntled pampered cat whose paw landed in a puddle.

[wickedwit]

"Ay, and so I admired thy attire. Thou must be hungry for flattery." As Jiang Wanyin steps closer, Claudius closes the distance, insinuating himself against Jiang Wanyin's chest and caressing the collar of his robe. "Or art thou impatient?"

[qingxinling]

How the fuck could an obvious cut-sleeve not know what a cut-sleeve is? "What--" he says, frozen in shock.

[wickedwit]

His fingers catch in Jiang Wanyin's collar and pull his face down, and he's not quite ungentlemanly enough to kiss Jiang Wanyin on the lips for a jest. But he comes very near to it, with a lingering kiss to his cheek.

[qingxinling]

And Jiang Wanyin bluescreens!

[wickedwit]

An excellent reaction, and one Claudius smiles broadly at. “What, where is thy boldness?” he teases. “Art shy now?” He sighs and steps back, after patting Jiang Wanyin’s chest. “A shame, but it happens even to the best of us.”

[qingxinling]

"I'm not fucking shy," Jiang Wanyin blusters, once he pulls himself together a tiny bit. He takes three long steps back from Claudius. "What. Kind of custom is that."

[wickedwit]

"Oh, poor innocent!" Claudius lets his eyes grow wide. "Hast thou never had a kiss, Jiang Wanyin? My apologies. A gentleman should never trifle with maidenly hearts."

[qingxinling]

Zidian comes out again, but the crackle it gives is a confused one. "You're no maiden," he says. This much is clear.

[wickedwit]

“No, in this analogy, thou art the maiden.” Claudius does, wisely, step a little further back when weapons are drawn, but his smile remains rather smug. “Unversed and unaccustomed to seduction. Wert thou saving thy first kiss? I’m glad I didn’t steal it entirely. I’ll leave thee to thy chaste idylls and daydreams.”

[qingxinling]

"I'm no maiden," Jiang Wanyin says then, feeling rather as if he's being made fun of... and not in the fun way Nie Huaisang sometimes does. This place, he thinks, sucks. He can't wait to get back to Lotus Pier.